Tips for Dads Going Through Divorce
As a newly divorced dad, it is important to begin to foster a new relationship with your children. Children are the true innocent victims in any divorce situation and helping them work through this difficult time will go a long way to reinforcing a positive relationship with them going forward.
Going through a divorce is a painful process for husbands and wives. But it is excruciating for children who don’t understand why this is happening. It is important to be honest with your children and keep them in the loop as to what is happening, without all of the gory details. Don’t place them on the backburner with the thought that they will “bounce back” over time. Make sure they understand that you aren’t leaving them behind and that you love them no matter what.
It is very important to keep the lines of communication open between you, your children and your soon to be ex-wife. Keeping things civil can be tough, but is vitally important to the emotional well-being of your children. Keep your negative feelings about the process and about your ex-spouse under wraps in front of your children. And, when your children ask questions, be open and honest with them. Hold them when they cry and try to understand their perspectives on the situation. Your goal is to remain someone that your child can go to during the divorce and throughout their lives.
Be Willing to Negotiate:
Your divorce will be one big negotiation, but then again so will the rest of your life. You will have to be willing to negotiate things with your ex-spouse in order to keep on contact with your children. Try to abide by your visitation days/times. This will not only keep you in contact with your children, but will also keep you in favor with the courts. Try to be flexible when you can with your ex-spouse when it comes to changing days/times, but make sure that you get equal visitation.
As your children age, they will be less interested in spending time at Dad’s. That doesn’t mean that they don’t love you, but it can be hurtful to you. Work hard to cultivate a relationship with your children that allows you to negotiate with your children that allows them to grow and explore but also spend time with you.
Being a newly divorced dad can be a tough endeavor. But taking the time to set aside your own hurt and anger and putting the needs of your children first, you can establish a loving relationship with your children and allow you to remain a permanent fixture in their lives. If you need more information on how to be a better dad, visit some dad-centric websites like a Cordell & Cordell site or other site dedicated to helping families heal after divorce.